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prevention news!
News of Hope email. |
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| Welcome
to our 2001 second edition of
Legacy of Hope e-newsletter. |
Check
out what's of interest to
YOU. Feel free to email
us a request on a related
topic of special interest.
We'll do our best to investigate
for upcoming issues. We
look forward to sharing
through the newsletter a
mutual passion for helping
kids!
Blessings! Susie Vanderlip,
Ken Vanderlip, and LEGACY
Staff |
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| NEWS
OF HOPE Volume
4.2 |
| Quote |
| “Each
of us makes our own weather, determines
the color of the skies in the
emotional universe which we inhabit.”
Fulton
J. Sheen |
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|
| 1.Message
from Susie |
|
a.
Two
Girls on the Road of Life "Life
Sucks" & “The Cutter"
|
|
The number of teens I meet
on a regular basis that feel
unloved, hopeless, rejected
by parents, and lonely is frighteningly
high. At every school assembly,
teens seek me out for private
sharings about grief, shame,
depression, fear and hopelessness.
It is abundantly clear that
teens are seeking to escape
and anesthetize these feelings,
using drugs, alcohol, sex and
other destructive choices.
Two girls stick in my mind
from my spring 2001 travels.
First, ‘Emily’ with
a theme song: Life Sucks; and,
secondly, ‘Trish, obsessed
with cutting on herself, hence:
The Cutter. (Note: Their names
have been changed to maintain
their anonymity). Though these
girls were from the Northeast
and the South, it really makes
no difference geographically
anymore. Teens in distress can
be found in absolutely every
state across America.
It is always disturbing to
me to meet severely distressed
teens. I think about them long
after our conversations. I pray
for them long and hard. I know,
I am nobody’s savior.
I am only the messenger. Yet,
I also make every effort to
provide them two things:
1. A connection to people and
programs where they live that
can help them with
emotional healing and recovery;
2. HOPE.
How important is HOPE?
According to Emily,
“Life sucks”
Emily based her entire life
philosophy on “life sucks”.
She came from a home of neglect
and abuse. Abandoned by her
father at an early age, she
now grieved for a relationship
with him. Many teens have a
heightened and renewed grieving
for a lost father once they
hit their teens. They wonder
what was so wrong with them
that he wouldn’t want
with in his life? Teens desire
that their fathers love them,
even more so if their mothers
do not seem to care, as was
the case with Emily.
Emily’s mother was described
as a raging alcoholic/addict,
usually not at home. If she
was, her mother was hung over
and asleep, or raging and telling
Emily that she was a loser,
a slut, and ugly each morning
when she left for school. Emily
was emotionally alone. She was
using alcohol, pot, and occasional
methamphetimines to give her
the ability to “tolerate”
her life. “Life Sucks”
was her mantra. And then we
talked…
Emily recognized that “life
sucks” really meant she
felt hopeless. She truly believed
no one really cared about her,
much less loved her. She had
tried guys. Several sexual encounters
later, she found that sex was
a useless source of emotional
well-being. The boys had used
her body, and tossed out her
mind and her heart. So, “life
sucks”.
I was privileged to share with
her insights into the disease
of alcoholism and drug addiction,
how it typically destroys trust
and reliability in love relationships
including between a mother and
daughter, a father and mother,
and a father and daughter. This
had all occurred in her family,
with both her parents abusing
alcohol and drugs her entire
life.
Emily and I talked about the
concept of realistic expectations
of her addicted parents. What
was possible and what was not.
And we talked about genuine
sources of unconditional love
and support from a school counselor,
school support group, an Alateen
meeting, participation in Peer
Helping on campus, a youth group
at church.
She was eager to hear about
spirituality, how her life matters.
She wanted to regain trust in
the existence of a loving, caring
God. She wanted to know again
how to pray. We explored the
concept of surrendering her
fears to God. And she began
to believe there was a better
life to be had. She began to
have HOPE.
Emily has now established a
supportive relationship with
her school counselor. She pops
her head in each day, sometimes
several times a day, to connect
with her counselor. This brief
but consistent contact with
a caring human being reminds
her she is not alone in what
felt like a hostile world. Amazing
how a relationship with her
counselor is enough to keep
her coming back to school each
day, no more ditching. As a
result, she attends more classes,
sober and drug free. Alert and
present, she has successes today,
and wants more.
Consistent, non-judgmental love
coupled with accountability and
boundaries have improved her daily
behaviors and choices. Sounds
like proper parenting to me! (THANK
YOU, counselors…surrogate
parents for so many!)
Thanks for caring, Susie
Vanderlip |
Trish,
"The Cutter"
Now about Trish, “the Cutter”.
I did not meet Trish at her school.
She emailed me a week after I
had been there. She urgently asked
for help because she was cutting
on her arms and legs daily. The
emails met me each morning for
3 days, each time she spoke of
her severe depression which progressed
to thoughts of suicide, and uncontrollable
urges that led to cutting now
on her body and back. No doubt,
I was deeply concerned, and urgently
requested Trish’s permission
to contact resources at her school
to help her. .
Because she identified with
me and characters in LEGACY
OF HOPE, she gave me her trust.
I took immediate action. We
intentionally coordinate most
of our assemblies with school
counselors or district counseling
services. As a result, I was
able to contact these resources;
they quickly took action.
Trish is now receiving professional
therapeutic care. Her cutting
was her attempt to avoid her
depressed feelings. I, too,
would have been depressed with
a family that included a brother
in prison, another an addict,
no father, and a disabled mother
that cruelly and habitually
criticized her, not to mention
a childhood that included previously-reported
molestation. Trish had long
since lost hope of being loved.
The pain of not feeling loved
by her own mother was extreme.
And Trish felt fully to blame
for her mother’s rejection.
These details came out quickly
with Trish, as they do with
all teens when they find someone
they can trust after a long
draught of isolation. Armed
with information, Trish had
the willingness to reach out
for help. In addition, she now
had the knowledge coupled with
the HOPE that she was not to
blame for her devastated family
and her painful childhood. Trish’s
cutting is diminishing. I now
have HOPE that she will make
progress and have a life that
allows for unconditional love,
trust, joy, fulfillment, faith
and genuine serenity.
For many school counselors,
the situations of these teen
girls are well understood and
all too prevalent. I share them
this month to encourage those
of you unfamiliar with the degree
of struggle in young lives to
grasp the need. Register your
request for increased counseling
services in your children’s
schools.
Both self-inflicted and outward
projected violence are often
expressions of hopelessness
and despair. Alcohol abuse,
drug addiction, and sexual promiscuity
in teens is no less a form of
violence, violence against themselves,
against the very souls of our
youth.
Help to make a difference.
Promote support groups, increased
counselors/school psychologists
services, peer helping programs,
and sober and drug free clubs
on your school campuses!
|
| b.
The STUDY Teen Emotional
Distress makes it clear:
|
| Increased
MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES are
imperative for schools |
| We
surveyed 4,676 teens
at 18 schools in 8
states and incorporated
insights from one
on one conversations
with over 7,000 individual
teens in 45 states.
The results: |
| * |
85%
of teens want support
groups on middle school
and high school campuses
to
help themselves and/or
their peers deal with
depression, suicidal
thoughts, violent
thoughts, and the
emotional distress
from the behaviors
of friends, parents,
step-parents, or siblings
with an alcohol or
drug problem. |
| * |
30% of middle school
teens gave their names
and requested participation
in support
groups because somebody
else’s drinking
or drug use bothers
them. |
| * |
19% of high school
teens gave their names
and requested participation
in support
groups because somebody
else’s drinking
or drug use bothers
them.
|
|
| Verbal
abuse by a parent had long-lasting
negative affects on teen
self-worth and sense of
being loved. The verbal
abuse was excessive in homes
where a parent drank heavily
and habitually.
Teens who doubted the
love of one or both parents
tended to hopelessness
and depression, often
abusing alcohol, drugs
and sex themselves to
apparently kill the pain
of self-blame and sense
of failure.
More was revealed in
the Study. The combined
information can be a useful
tool in the prevention
of teen violence, alcohol
and drug abuse, teen suicide
and teen depression, even
teen pregnancy and gang
involvement. As parents,
administrators, and school
funding sources begin
to grasp the significant
impact of teen emotional
distress, we can implement
programs that help teens
understand their emotional
motives and teach them
how to respond to them
productively rather than
destructively.
The STUDY indicates a
clear need for schools
to develop emotional awareness
and support in children,
and particularly in the
teen years when many family
and relationship issues
surface. The Study makes
it clear that for many
teens, the only place
they may find emotional
support will be at school.
If you would like a copy
of the STUDY to use in
talking with a school
principal, superintendent
or school board about
mental health services
at your child’s
school or the school where
you work, send us an email
at Comment@legacyofhope.com
with the subject: STUDY.
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| Top |
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| Quote |
Whether
there is or is not a problem alcohol
or drugs in our families, we can
be overwhelmed by feeling of worry,
hurt, loneliness, anger and fear.
We are all born with a full rainbow
of feelings. They all have their
place in teaching us to reach
out to one another for help and
support; teaching us how to be
compassionate, patient, kind and
courteous-even to ourselves as
we look into the mirror."
Susie Vanderlip,
CSP |
|
|
| 2.
Parent Involvement Lessens Teen
Drug Use |
According
to articles from the JTO -Direct
Headlines:
"Study: Parent Involvement
Lessens Teen Drug Use",
Dated
(Full articles available at
www.jointogether.org)
A new study says that when
parents monitor teenagers' behavior,
such as television watching
and music listening, they are
less likely to smoke, drink,
or use illicit drugs, the Associated
Press reported Feb. 21.
"Parents should not look
to Washington, or the statehouse
or city hall. They ought to
look in the mirror and say,
'What am I doing to fight drugs?'"
said Joseph Califano, chairman
of the Columbia University-based
National Center on Addiction
and Substance Abuse (CASA),
which conducted the study. The
study found a correlation between
low risk of abusing drugs and
living in highly structured
households. "When you have
a sensible set of expectations
and rules, you are going to
have teens with a much lower
risk of using drugs," said
Califano.
Highly structured households
were defined as those where
parents took such actions as
turning off the TV during dinner;
banning music CDs with offensive
lyrics; knowing where their
children were after school;
imposing curfews; assigning
their teens regular chores;
and eating dinner with their
children at least six nights
a week.
The study said that seven in
10 teens live in households
where parents set few rules
or none at all. In households
with few rules, youth were twice
as likely to abuse drugs, while
in homes with absentee parents,
teens were four times as likely
to abuse drugs than those living
in highly structured homes.
The study's findings were based
on telephone interviews of 1,000
teens, randomly selected from
a group representing the general
population of youth ages 12
to 17. The poll asked about
their smoking, drinking or drug-taking
histories or habits; the behavior
of their friends; and the household
rules set by their parents. |
| Top |
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|
| Quote |
We
must accept responsibility for
a problem before we can solve
it. We cannot solve a problem
by saying "It's not my problem,"
and hoping that someone else will
solve it for us. We can solve
a problem only when we say "This
is my problem and it's up to me
to solve it."
M.
Scott Peck |
|
|
| 3.
Educators Try to Persuade Students
to Report Violent Threats |
According
to articles from the JTO -Direct
Headlines:
"Educators Try to Persuade
Students to Report Violent Threats"
(Full articles available at
www.jointogether.org)
Many students shy away from
reporting threats of violence
made by peers for fear of being
called a snitch, but educators
are making progress in convincing
students to become more proactive
in protecting their schools
from violence, the Associated
Press reported March 9.
Since the recent shooting at
Santana High School in Santee,
Calif., authorities throughout
the United States are finding
that threats at other schools
have been foiled as a result
of tips by students.
"If that's an outcome
of these tragic events -- a
greater willingness to report
-- it's something positive coming
out of a very sad chapter,"
said Ted Feinberg, assistant
executive director of National
Association of School Psychologists.
Educators say that since the
California shooting, the message
that silence can have deadly
consequences is starting to
get through to students.
Although mechanisms were put
in place after the 1999 Columbine
High School massacre for students
to anonymously report threats,
educators found that students
were still struggling with the
decision to make such reports.
Experts say many students remain
quiet because they're concerned
about what would happen to the
suspected wrongdoers.
"The excessive focus on
punishment and security might
be driving some kids away from
reaching out to the school administration,"
said Vincent Schiraldi, president
of the Center for Juvenile and
Criminal Justice, referring
to the zero-tolerance policies
used by many schools.
Feinberg said it's important
for educators and parents to
convince students that their
tips will be handled effectively.
"To break down the conspiracy
of silence, kids need to understand
that there are trusted adults
who will handle the information
discreetly, calmly, and appropriately,"
he said. |
| Top |
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| 4.
Teens Who Abuse Alcohol Face Lifelong
Problems |
According
to articles from the JTO -Direct
Headlines:
"Teens Who Abuse Alcohol
Face Lifelong Problems"
(Full articles available at
www.jointogether.org)
Researchers have found that
teenagers who abuse alcohol
often end up with worse drinking
and mental-health problems as
they age, Reuters reported Dec.
27.
In a study led by Dr. Paul
Rohde of the Oregon Research
Institute in Eugene, researchers
followed 940 high school students
until age 24. They found that
teens diagnosed with alcohol
problems were more at risk for
further drinking problems, other
substance abuse, depression
and personality disorders as
they got older.
"Clearly, for many adolescents,
alcohol use disorders and problematic
alcohol consumption are not
benign conditions that self-resolve,"
the researchers wrote in their
report. The study is published
in the January issue of the
Journal of the American Academy
of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
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| Top |
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| 5.
Susie's Performance Calendar |
LEGACY OF
HOPE has been delighting audiences
at meetings and conferences
for adult associations, human
resources, health and wellness,
psychotherapeutic fields, crime
prevention, violence and substance
abuse prevention, education,
family-friendly corporations,
and parents as well as teens.
Where else might you think this
enlightening program might make
a difference in your community?
|
FALL
SCHEDULE for Legacy of Hope
Susie will be performing in the
following states during Fall 2001
schedule:
Kansas, Maine, Mississippi, New
York,
Oklahoma, South Carolina, South
Dakota
We urge you to call now and get
your school or conference on the
calendar! RECENT
VENUES
Our mission is to create a
LEGACY: A WORLD IN WHICH EVERY
CHILD HAS HOPE
regardless of family circumstances.
|
To
this end, we are reaching
far and wide and working
with schools and counselors
to identify teens in need
of emotional support and
healing. We were honored
to bring LEGACY
OF HOPE® and
DE-STRESS FOR SUCCESS®
to teens and young adults
at: |
| * |
Wayne
State College-Wayne, NE
|
| * |
Grandview High School-Aurora,
CO |
| * |
Roncalli High School-Aberdeen,
SD |
| * |
Watertown High School-Watertown,
SD |
| * |
Sisseton School-Sisseton,
SD |
| * |
Brunswick High School-Brunswick,
ME |
|
In March, LEGACY OF HOPE,
captivated and encouraged
professionals at two significant
conferences
: |
| * |
California
Association of School Psychologists
(CASP) Conference |
 |
| * |
Maine Counseling
Association Conference |
|
|
In early April, Susie had
the great pleasure of keynoting
two superb, large teen conferences
and an
NCADD Conference: |
| * |
Mississippi
Office of Highway
Safety Conference
with 4,500 teens |
| * |
Oklahoma FCCLA Conference
with 8,000 teens |
| * |
National Council
on Alcoholism and
Drug Dependence (NCADD)
'Healing Our Children'
Conference, Memorial
Hospital, Long Beach,
CA |
|
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|
| Late April,
Dr. Ken Vanderlip and Susie Vanderlip,
husband and wife, will team up
to refresh teens and adults at
the upcoming “Dancing with
Anger” Conference, Victoria,
BC. Susie will keynote LEGACY
OF HOPE, and together Ken and
Susie share DE-STRESS FOR SUCCESS
with delegates from North American
Indian tribes. |
| Top |
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INFORMATIONAL
MATERIALS:
For
informational materials and demo video
geared for teen or adult venues, professional
meetings, conferences, associations
and workshops, contact us at 800-707-1977
or Susie@legacyofhope.com
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| 7.
LEGACY'S "REAL WORLD ROLE
MODELS" |
We want
to let the world know about
some AWESOME PEOPLE
who have devoted their careers
(and more!) to the education
and well-being
of America's kids. In this newsletter,
we recognize:
Al
Arevalos, Director of
Teen Services, Boys and Girls
Club of Fullerton,
Step Up Program - Al is dedicated
to providing small groups of
high-risk teens with extensive
training and services every
school day. The Step Up Program
is successively keeping troubled
teens in school and off the
streets.
David
Gear, Director of Education
and Marketing, Prairie View
– regional behavioral
health and mental health facility.
David is tenacious about uncovering
the needs within the community
served by Prairie View. He creatively
and conscientiously implements
high-quality educational programs
that make a difference to youth,
parents, and other adults in
and around Wichita, Kansas.
Georgiana
Hotch, Executive Director,
Alaska Chilkoot Indian Association
- Georgiana diligently works
to bring prevention, education,
and a wide variety of resources
to the Native Alaskan Indian
populations in Haines, Alaska.
Denise
Morris, Executive Director,
Oklahoma FCCLA (Family, Career
and Community Leaders of America)
– CONGRATULATIONS on another
phenomenal statewide conference,
the largest FCCLA event in the
nation with 8,000 teens and
advisors. Typical of the FCCLA
organization, Denise and staff
developed the state student
officers into a competent, reliable,
polished team of leaders. These
youth leaders conducted a first
class conference and gave thousands
of teens highly positive role
models of personal growth, character
and responsibility. Way to go
FCCLA!
John
Parkman, Phyllis Worthley
and Carlena Bean, officers of
the Maine Counseling Association.
Acknowledgement to all three
for your dedication to the field
of counseling and to your peers.
Congratulations on a wonderful
state conference! |
| Top |
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| 8.
Contact Legacy Of Hope |
| Please visit
our web site at www.legacyofhope.com
to view a more complete list of
great web sites worth visiting
and other resources. Email comments
or questions to Comments@legacyofhope.com
or call 800-707-1977. |
|
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| ABOUT
SUSIE VANDERLIP, CSP
Certified Speaking Professional,
Dancer, Actress, Author,Prevention
Specialist, Professional Life Coach,
and Educator
Contributing Author to 'LEAD NOW or
Step Aside' and 'TEEN POWER TOO'
"I share the dramatically different
and startlingly sincere
LEGACY OF HOPE with teens across the
country to stop their pain...the pain
that pushes them to violence, suicide,drugs,
alcohol, gangs and irresponsible sexuality.
I share with adults who remember
their childhood angst and choose to
mentor others past the limits of their
memories:educators, counselors, nurses,
doctors, crime prevention officers,
legislators, corporate professionals,
parents and friends.
Husband, Dr. Ken Vanderlip, and I
offer the tools that put joy and serenity
back into the task: DE-STRESS FOR
SUCCESS workshops & seminars.
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