IS THIS SITUATION FAMILIAR?
What should I do - my son was kicked out of school for smoking pot?

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS:
  Does someone else's drinking or drug use bother you? Make you worried, 
       and sad and mad? Feel guilty, angry, ashamed, depressed, suicidal, 
       resentful, sorry for yourself, desperate and alone?
  Does someone drink or use and then shred you with cruel words or vicious 
       criticism, always making you feel guilty, wrong or unlovable?
  Or do they ignore you like you are a fly on the wall, worse yet even
      say things like, "I never wanted you anyway!"?
  Is someone's anger out of control to the point of verbally or 
       physically beating on you?
  Are you in a relationship where you are afraid for your safety?
  Feeling put down, gossiped about, bullied to the point of 
       wanting to harm yourself or someone else?
  Is someone hitting you or sexually abusing you?
  Feel like a victim, always worried, anxious and just waiting for the 
       next bad thing to happen?

  ARE YOU SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED?
  DO SUICIDAL THOUGHTS COMFORT YOU?
  ARE YOU USING OR CUTTING BECAUSE IT FEELS BETTER THAN REAL 
     LIFE?

Then it is time to reach out and ask for help. 
I know, I was there, too.  And it got bad, really bad, when my first husband was drinking and using drugs -  pot, painkillers, Valium, Quaaludes, whites, Nitrous Oxide, and Cocaine... He was no dummy. He was a dentist, well-educated, nice house, nice cars, nice wife (me!), great life. But alcoholism and drug addiction respects NO ONE and NO FAMILY. The disease is progressive, and he got sicker and sicker, angrier and full of rage. And, yes, I got scared, suicidal, felt like somehow it was all my fault, desperate, unwanted, unloved and alone. 

This is Susie Vanderlip here, heart to heart, soul to soul.  I've lived a life of abuse, felt like life was possibly not worth living. But I now live a life of enthusiasm, loving relationships, kindness, compassion, happy, joyous and free of feeling like a victim! I found help and you can, too. It is a CHOICE.

Since October, 1991, I have been incredibly privileged to share my story with one million teens and adults and talked one on one with 25,000 hurting teens, young adults, parents... And they have all expressed similar feelings of being abused, neglected, loathing themselves, feeling like everything is all their fault, or wanting to blame everyone and everything for their crummy life.

If you can relate to anything I have shared here, I invite you to consider your options: 
     1. Continue as you are until you make some seriously bad choices for the direction of your own life just in order to survive, to cope with the ugly feelings inside;

OR 

   2. Check out other ways to deal with the problem people in your life and the feelings that are taking you down: 
      Contact: Al-Anon (for adults) or Alateen (for teens) if someone else's drinking/drug use is making them treat you in ways you cannot live stand. www.al-anon.alateen.org   Get their pamphlets sent to you or find a meeting near you and show up. No one will ask for your last name. You can remain private and secure. It is free. And, miracle of all miracles, there is NO GOSSIP! 

      Contact: The police if anyone is physically or sexually abusing you. This is everyone's right and responsibility. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO PHYSICALLY OR SEXUALLY ABUSE YOU for any reason.  If you are at home and in fear for you safety, LEAVE, go to a friend's, a neighbor's, or just pick up the phone and dial 911.  Our number one responsibility to is to our own safety and that of our brothers, sisters, parents.  

      Contact: Your School Counselor. As hard as it may be to imagine that they care or know anything about what YOU are going thru, believe it or not, many of them became counselors because they grew up with feeling abused just like you. And they ARE trained to understand, to keep your confidence (though they do have to report physical or sexual abuse), and their job is to help you find other sources of help. They can help you find professional therapists, a safe house, rehab, and help you discover other choices. 
ONCE WE SEE THAT WE HAVE CHOICES, WE ARE NO LONGER A VICTIM!

       Contact: The BEST TEEN HOTLINE - Cedars Sinai Medical Center's TEENLINE, Los Angeles, CA - Just pick up the phone and make the call.  On the other end of the phone you will find other teens, just like you, who GET IT! And WILL KNOW what you to say. They, too, can help you see your choices. It is a free call:
877-968-8454  or  310-855-4673 (California number)  

Email me at susie@legacyofhope.com if you'd like some feedback on a specific problem. I am always happy to help.

STAY TUNED TO THIS LINK FOR EXAMPLES OF TEEN'S WHO HAVE SHARED PROBLEMS WITH ME AND THE SUGGESTIONS THAT CAN HELP. We'll be continually adding more for you to help you see your CHOICES.