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News of Hope email. |
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Welcome
to November, 2009'News
of Hope'!
November is a special
month - the season's
have changed, the day's
are shorter, the
holidays are coming near
and we have the
opportunity to be a bit
more reflective and, we
hope, more grateful!
November is also Parent
Involvement Month, a
time for parents to
re-awaken their
commitment to spending
time with the kids,
talking, listening,
playing, coaching,
helping with homework -
remembering that the
most important influence
in a child (and even a
teen's) life are their
parents.
November can also be a
time when the
"stress" of
the holidays, financial
pressures and family
issues can steal the
very essence out of our
holiday joy. It is a
great time to remind
ourselves of our choices
when feeling
overwhelmed, anxious or
fearful in the weeks to
come. Some ideas from
De-Stress
for Success®: The
System:
1) Remember the HALT
Principle
2) Keep your head over
your feet and your
thoughts in the present
- tomorrow isn't here
yet
3) Take a walk and
breathe
4) Practice positive
self-talk so you don't
take other's negativity
personally
4) Meditate
5) Take a moment to
write down what you are
grateful for!
November 2009 NEWS
OF HOPE CONTENTS
. Helping Your Preteen
Cope with Feeling Left
Out
. Holiday SPECIAL from
LEGACY
. Alcohol the Real
Date Rate Drug
. Join Susie on
FACEBOOK
. TEXT SPEAK -
Affecting Teen
Communication Skills
. THANKSGIVING FALL
PHOTOS TO SAVOR!
Pictured
above:
Pic 1: T.C. Roberson
High School, Ashville,
NC - assembly for grades
9-12, several hours with
teens eager to talk
about personal concerns,
and a well-attended
community evening
program - all
coordinated by the
outstanding mom's of the
PTSO (in pic) with
special acknowledgement
to Cathy Steinbeck - one
motivated mom!
Pic 2: T.C. Roberson
students artistically
expressed their
appreciation!
Pic 3: Two incredible
parent-teen evening
programs were held at
St. Matthew Catholic
Church in Charlotte, NC,
sponsored by the Church
and two well-respected
treatment centers Pavillon
and Dilworth
Treatment Center.
Thanks to the 900 youth
and parents that came
out to improve their
mutual communication!
Pic 4: Another
successful community
evening event, sponsored
by Pavillon, at the
Scottish Rite Temple in
Greenville, SC.
Thanks, Pavillon!
To
view past newsletters...
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Helping
Your Preteen Cope with
Feeling Left Out
Website for Preteen
Parents covers every
subject!
From their article: Helping
Your Preteen Cope with
Feeling Left Out
As preteens move beyond
a fully ego-centric phase
of "all about
me" to a world with
higher and higher
expectations (family,
school and basic
responsibilities), life
can be disconcerting, to
say the least. At the same
time, a tween's social
context will most likely
turn to navigating an
evolving
"landscape" of
peer-oriented challenges;
most notably, "How do
I fit in?". Many
experts, according to
Carma Haley Shoemaker in
"Just Not
Cliquing", believe
that a child tries to find
his/her place in a social
group, starting at about
age eight and continuing
into middle school. The
news flash is, we've all
been there!
According to
TweenParent.com, there are
strategies that parents
can employ to guide their
children in dealing with
feeling left out by a
friend or a group of
friends. For their
suggestions, Visit the
site at link below.
Picture: Evening
performance in Greenville,
SC at Scottish Rite Temple
- community program with
involved and friendly
preteens pictured here
with Susie :)
http://www.tweenparent.com
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__________________________________________________________________
Alcohol
the Real Date-Rape Drug,
Study Says
News
Summary from Join
Together, October 29,
2009
Women who have lost
control or consciousness
due to excessive
drinking have fueled
what British researchers
have termed the
"urban legend"
of drinks being spiked
with so-called
"date-rape"
drugs, according to a
new study.
The Telegraph reported
Oct. 27 that Kent
University researchers
who studied 200 students
found that many blamed
their incapacitation on
alleged spiking of
drinks with drugs like
Rohypnol or GHB when, in
fact, they had drank to
excess. Researchers
concluded that many
drinkers were in denial
about their level of
alcohol use and its
debilitating effects.
Three-quarters of those
surveyed cited drink
spiking as a major risk
in sexual assault -- far
more than saw the risk
in being drunk, taking
drugs, or walking alone
at night. But police say
there's no evidence that
rape victims are
commonly drugged before
attacks.
"Young women appear
to be displacing their
anxieties about the
consequences of
consuming what is in the
bottle on to rumors of
what could be put there
by someone else,"
said researcher Adam
Burgess. "The
reason why fear of
drink-spiking has become
widespread seems to be a
mix of it being more
convenient to guard
against than the effects
of alcohol itself and
the fact that such
stories are exotic --
like a more adult
version of 'stranger
danger.'"
"We would be very
interested in finding
out whether the urban
myth of spiking is also
the result of parents
feeling unable to
discuss with their adult
daughters how to manage
drinking and sex and
representing their
anxieties about this
through discussion of
drink spiking
risks," added
researcher Sarah Moore.
The study was published
in the November 2009
issue of the British
Journal of Criminology.
Correction: The original
version of this summary
erroneously stated,
"But police say
there's no evidence that
rape suspects are
commonly drugged before
attacks." This
should have referred to
rape victims. The error,
which we regret, has
been corrected; thanks
to our readers for
alerting us to the
mistake.
This article summarizes
an external report or
press release on
research published in a
scientific journal. When
available, links to the
sources are provided
above.
COMMENTS ON THIS
ARTICLE:
Posted by Debra on 30
Oct 09 10:13 AM EDT
I have been a Sexual
Assault Nurse Examiner
(SANE-A, SANE-P
certified through IAFN)
for 10 years. I agree
completely with the
finding in this study.
It is however, very
difficult to prove if
drugs were involved in
the rape. Because the
urine/blood screens, in
many instances, are not
sensitive enough to pick
up a one time/single
dose of a drug in a
patients urine/blood.
Many drugs when used in
combination with alcohol
to potentiate its
effects are not even
screened for in some
screening
panels---Benadryl for
example. A patient
generally report several
hours after the incident
especially if drugs or
alcohol, in excess or by
malice, is involved
because they are
unresponsive and unaware
of what happened. The
first urine may be
missed and the
subsequent urine may not
contain enough
metabolite to show
positive on screening.
During a sexual assault
exam is the the right
time to be doing drug or
alcohol interventions
with the patient. Many
clients feel guilty and
shamed regarding the
event. Our focus is on
the clients health and
safety, physical,
emotional and medical
well being and
reempowering them to
regain a sense of
control in their life.
With that said it is
important to also
remember that even if a
client is extremely
intoxicated, under there
own doing, sexual
assault is a crime. And
a client who is
intoxicated certainly
does not have the mental
capacity to consent to
sexual contact.
Posted by Vetanalyst on
30 Oct 09 10:50 AM EDT
This reinforces the
need to increase public
understanding of basic
concepts of
intoxication, its
effects, and risks posed
to health and safety.
These concepts have been
applied to impaired
driving and underage
drinking, but many other
life situations are
ignored or trivialized
as harmless fun and
desirable
"socializing."
Read article at Join
Together
LEGACY
OF HOPE® is all about
'HEALTHY CHOICE' skills
and awareness. |
TEXT
SPEAK - Affecting
Teen Communication
Skills
According to Sonya
Hamlin, author of How
to Talk So People
Listen: Connecting in
Today's Workplace,
"We are losing very
natural, human,
instinctive skills
that we used to be
really good at."
What she is referring
to are the face to
face verbal
communication skills
that are being
exchanged for tweets
and texts.
High school seniors
being coached for
college admissions
interviews were found
to give "extremely
short and not
informational"
answers. "Nothing
came out, really,
because is such an
unused skill."
Hamlin says it is
because "they're
not listening."
Youth raised on
texting and IM
communicating are used
to rereading texts and
IM"s several times
before answering. The
spontaneous thinking
and communication of
phone chats or
face-to-face
conversation has been
replaced by quips,
icons, emoticons and
quotes.
And text and IM
shorthand is creeping
into their
conversations. One
college freshman
remarked how she may
suddenly say in
conversation, "Oh,
LOL," - using
"text-speak" for
'laughing out
loud.' Not a good
choice in a job
interview, to be sure!
According to an
article in USA TODAY
on 5/29/2006, "A
2005 report for
Achieve, a non-profit
organization that
helps states raise
academic standards,
found that 34% of
employers were
dissatisfied with the
oral communication
skills of high school
graduates; 45% of
college students and
46% of high school
graduates who entered
the workforce instead
of college said they
struggle with their
public speaking
abilities."
Phone companies say
that "text is the
new talk" and our
communication is
becoming cryptic with
at a 160-character
text-message limit.
Parents share that the
family phone doesn't
ring much any more.
That may be peaceful,
but there is no way to
monitor who is talking
to who anymore or how
often. Which, as
Denise Witmer quotes
the Monterey Herald in
her article Text
Messages Keep Teens
From Sleeping on
About.com,
"Nearly a quarter of
teens in a
relationship have
communicated with a
boyfriend or
girlfriend hourly
between midnight and 5
a.m. via cell phone or
texting.One in six
communicated 10 or
more times an hour
through the night."
And this from a survey
in 2007 - texting
has increased
multi-fold since then.
Text-messaging can
cause sleep
deprivation in teens
and negatively impact
academic achievement.
Which is why it is
recommended that your
teen's cell phone
charger be in the
parents' bedroom
where it resides from,
say, 10pm to 6:30am.
Some teen boys who
find it easier to
communicate with
texting, since
chatting with girls
isn't easy for many.
Texting removes the
need to develop
chatting skills with
girls for awhile.
Though girls say
it's hard to tell a
guy's real level of
interest without any
verbal cues - and
some guys just text
incessantly and become
annoying!
Good article for more
insights into ideas
for parents as to how
to handle cell phone
use and texting
privileges with teens:
Parenting
Teens Article on
About.com |
CELEBRATING
THANKSGIVING WITH YOU
AND THE COLORS OF
FALL!
Asheville in the fall
is a photographer's
delight! Hope you
enjoy colorful moments
we experienced along
the Blue Ridge
Mountain Parkway :)
Our Thanksgiving
blessing to you all!
Susie and Ken
See
more of Asheville Fall
here! |
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TIME
TO BOOK LEGACY OF
HOPE for
2009-2010!!
This is a
cut-to-the-chase
message for today's
youth, parents and
adults who work with
kids and families - a
profound message of
hope, emotional
wisdom, and
resiliency.
LEGACY OF HOPE®
stimulates positive
communication between
schools, parents and
teens while motivating
young people to
healthy choices.
Create awareness and
re-ignite HOPE in the
lives of children,
adults and families -
because we all need to
know that someone out
there understands our
struggle and cares.
LEGACY OF HOPE® can
help! Give us a call
at 800-707-1977 or
online.
To
Contact Susie and
LEGACY |
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From all of us at LEGACY ...
Susie Vanderlip, CSP, CPAE - Ken Vanderlip,
PhD
Newsletter Assistant:
Yuri Choi
800-707-1977 |
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