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WELCOME
to March, 2008 - 'NEWS OF HOPE'
Today’s world is all about
change.
Every time we turn a corner
there is some new gadget that
has been designed to do
something that we have been
doing for years, better and
faster. It’s easy to get
overwhelmed with all these new
gadgets.
Then, to make things worse, we
look at our kids and see them
punching the keypad on their
cell phones a mile a minute and
somehow they seem to be creating
foreign messages like omg, j/k,
ttyl, that they send to their
friends all day long! And when
they aren’t on their phones
they are online doing something
like updating their profiles,
posting blogs and who knows what
else.
It’s easy to turn a blind eye
and remain ignorant on these
technological changes which seem
to be making us feel like aliens
in our own homes…but we
can’t! It’s our
responsibility to know what our
kids are up to so that we can
help guide them and keep them
safe. Therefore, we must all try
to educate ourselves on these
growing teen technological
trends.
This month’s newsletter is
designed to help educate you on
a few of these items and the
dangers that exist if we
don’t.
March Newsletter Content
* Technology and Its Impact on
How Teens are Communicating
* Internet Addiction Among Teens
* Do They Ever Put Their Phones
Down
* Parents! Get in the Know About
Myspace!
* Internet Safety Tips for You
and Your Kids
Pictures Above from Susie's
recent travels (left to right):
(NOTE: To see more pictures from
these events, cut and paste the
following link: http://www.legacyofhope.com/adult_conferences.htm)
Pic 1 - Susie keynoted the 5th
Annual Alcohol Forum in
Bismarck, North Dakota. It was
warm and welcoming inside though
16 below outside!
Pic 2 - North Dakota First Lady
Mikey Hoeven poses with
"Julio" before Susie's
keynote. First Lady Hoeven is
very active in youth issues and,
in particular, underage drinking
prevention.
Pic 3 - Pam Midgett - Director
of Counseling at Midwestern
State University (MSU) and Susie
share the "goggle"
experience - simulating having
drunk 6 & 12 beers as part
of the week-long underage
drinking prevention activities
the Counseling Department
sponsored for college students.
Susie gave an evening keynote to
350 students and a 'Thrive,
Don't Just Survive' Workshop to
staff/faculty.
Pic 4 - "Toss Your
Cookies" event at MSU -
students gleefully tossed
cookies into a toilet bowl WHILE
wearing the 'drunk goggles.' A
most amusing and eye-opening
afternoon!
Don't
miss GREAT TOPICS from Past
Newsletters - Browse them on our
website |
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| CHECK
OUT SUSIE'S newestGRAND
MAGAZINE article ON
BULLYING!
****************************************************
Read Susie's article in the
March/April edition of GRAND
Magazine -
"Teach Your Grandkids to be
Anti-bullies"
and sign up for a FREE ONE YEAR
SUBSCRIPTION while you're at it!
Excellent magazine for
grandparents of all ages!
****************************************************
Read article and/or Sign Up for
FREE ONE-YEAR SUBSCRITPION |
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Technology
and Its Impact on How Teens are
Communicating
American teens now live in a
world in which the Internet,
cell phones, text messaging and
other technology dominate their
communication and are an
integral part of life as they
understand it.
Unlike the world as most of us
knew it, our teens don’t even
have to see each other face to
face to feel as though they are
socializing with friends.
Instead, our teens are hoping
into our cars and headed home
while still chatting with their
friends using cell phones to
text and IM. That’s right, kids
today don’t even need to open
their mouths to have
conversations with their friends.
Not surprisingly,
cellularnews.com reports that
general teen day to day
communications occur most over
cell phones, social networking
websites and landline phones.
Cell phones are the number one
choice for arranging to meet
with friends (36%), having quick
conversations (29%), contacting
a friend when bored (25%) and
inviting people to a party or
event (22%). Social networking
websites are the choice of
communication when staying in
touch with friends (24%),
leaving short messages (23%) and
contacting a friend in different
school or town (21%) (http://www.cellular-news.com/story/22146.php).
When comparing the different
modes of communication, youth
feel they would be most likely
to miss out on the activities
with friends if they didn’t
have a cell phone (29%). If
teens want to feel more outgoing
and have more time to think
about what they have to say,
they are more likely to use
instant messaging to communicate
over cell phones, text messaging
or social networking websites
(http://www.cellular-news.com/story/22146.php).
How is this cultural shift in
socializing habits going to
affect the
future of our society?
It’s way too early to tell,
but is it possible that we are
shifting to a culture where face
to face contact is no longer a
necessity? And is this a good
thing?
Take the words of Jean Tarbett
Hardiman from the The Herald-
Dispatch for a moment. She says
that back when she was young and
had a crush on somebody like
Michael J. Fox for instance, she
would “go to the drugstore and
buy "Bop." And on the
glossy pages would be all the
fascinating details I could ever
want to know about Alex P.
Keaton/Marty McFly -- his
favorite ice cream, his taste in
women and the music he likes.
And for a few moments, I'd feel
like I knew him and that if he
came skateboarding down my
street in his Nikes and
life-preserver, I could say,
‘Oh, that's my favorite ice
cream, too!’ and he'd tell me
that he'd wait until I grew up
and then we'd get married”
(http://www.herald-dispatch.com/news/x627524626).
And then, inevitably, reality
would set in.
In Reality Land, Hardiman
reminds us that we are all
forced to turn our affections
towards those people we actually
meet and talk to. However, the
technological playgrounds are creating
an unhealthy ability for people
to get onto a persons webpage
and learn all about them without
having to physically meet that
person once. Eventually you
may get added to their contacts
or "friends" but does
this give a person the false
feeling of connectedness and
bonding (http://www.herald-dispatch.com/news/x627524626).
What happens when these two
people run into each other in
real-life at school or
something? Do they stop and
talk, or do they keep walking
and pretend like they didn’t
see their online friend walk
right by them? Unfortunately,
the answer in most cases is:
avoid eye contact and pretend
like you never saw the person in
real-life.
How messed up is that?
As Hardiman writes, “It's like
some people are pseudo
friends and some people are
real friends. There's no clear
line of what's real and what's
not. Or is there” (http://www.herald-dispatch.com/news/x627524626)?
Teens today already feel
isolated enough at times and are
therefore reaching out and
experimenting with things such
as substance abuse to try and
fill the voids they are feeling
in their personal life.
We must look at our own
situations and decide how we, as
parents, should best handle the
challenges that these cultural
phenomenon are throwing at us in
order to prevent our own
children from feeling the pains
that cause substance abuse.
-- Information for this
article was gathered at
http://www.herald-dispatch.com/news/x627524626
- Jean Tarbett Hardiman for The
Herald- Dispatch
http://www.cellular-news.com/story/22146.php
The survey was conducted online
within the United States between
December 14 and 22, 2006 among a
nationwide cross section of
1,726 youth ages 8 through 18
(703 tweens, ages 8-12; 1,023
teens, ages 13 to 18).
LEGACY
OF HOPE assemblies help
teens communicate with parents
and peers . . . |
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WHAT
PARENTS ARE SAYING ABOUT
"52 Ways" --
"This is the first
parenting book that gave me
practical tools to improve my
relationship with my teen. And
they really work! I just wish I
had had this book earlier, even
before she was a preteen. It
would have made the teen years
so much easier!"
Tricia, mother of 18 year old
daughter
BOOKS - "52 Ways to Protect
Your Teen" continues to be an
invaluable, concrete
relationship and communication
building book for parents with
teens, school counselors and
grandparents.
"LEGACY OF HOPE" on
DVD gives you the opportunity to
share Susie's dramatic and
thought-provoking message at
home, in the classroom, or pass
it on to friends and family.
ORDER
YOUR PRODUCTS NOW!! |
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| A
New
Phenomenon...Internet
Addiction Among Teens
 When
we think of addictions,
many of us think of
alcohol and/or drugs.
But in today’s world,
there are many other
addictions we need to
look out for when it
comes to our children.
One of the most recently
debated addictions is
internet addiction.
A recent study in
Australia on the impact
of internet use on
teenagers found that a
third of respondents
were "in the
process of becoming
psychologically
addicted" and
teenagers, on average,
spent 13 hours a week
on-line (http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/caught-in-the-net/2005/11/22/1132421666935.html).
The pilot study,
conducted by Dr Mubarak
Ali of Flinders
University in Adelaide,
focused on 114
government and
private-school students
across a broad
socio-economic range.
Dr. Mubarak states that
"Substance abuse is
something visible.
Psychological addictions
are caused by wanting to
hang onto or enhance
positive feelings and
stimuli, like winning in
gambling, playing
computer games or
projecting whatever
personality you like in
chat rooms"
(http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/caught-in-the-net/2005/11/22/1132421666935.html).
That’s right, teens
get a similar high from
pretending to be
somebody else, the
person they sometimes
fantasize about being in
real life, as they do
from doing drugs. This
high, this addiction to
pretending to be
somebody else online has
the potential to create
an interesting social
shift within our
culture.
Australian researchers
found that seven
percent of teenagers
aged 13 to 17 described
themselves as
"becoming
addicted" to the
net and other 26 per
cent said they used it
every day and considered
it "an important
part of their
lives"
(http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/caught-in-the-net/2005/11/22/1132421666935.html).
Internet addiction is
not the only
technological addictions
we should be concerned
about. TheAge.com
reports that earlier
this year, the
Australian Medical
Journal raised the alarm
over research showing
older Australian
teenagers now spend more
than six hours a day
multi-tasking with a
range of media,
ranging from TV to
internet use and instant
messaging to cell phones
and texting (http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/caught-in-the-net/2005/11/22/1132421666935.html).
This is alarming because
Australians are not the
only ones doing research
on the matter. In fact,
the most recent American
research has found that chat
room use reduces
interactions between
adolescents and their
families,
damaging family
cohesiveness and
increasing the potential
for isolation and
psychological problems,
including depression
(http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/caught-in-the-net/2005/11/22/1132421666935.html).
Parent-child test for
internet addiction:
■ Does your child
frequently disobey time
limits for internet use?
■ Does your child
prefer to spend time
online rather than with
the rest of your family?
■ Does your child
check his or her email
before doing anything
else?
■Does your child
seem withdrawn since
discovering the
internet?
■Does your child
snap, yell or act
annoyed if bothered
while online?
Information for this
article gathered from:
Louise Williams and Tim
Colquhoun
http://www.theage.com.au/news/technology/caught-in-the-net/2005/11/22/1132421666935.html
More
resources on the LEGACY
website
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| Do
They Ever Put Their
Phones Down? |
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Teens are
famously sleep-deprived
already, but experts
report in a recent
article found in the
Seattle Times that some
are compounding the
problem by staying up
into the middle of the
night to silently type
messages to friends on
their cell phones.
Many researchers believe
that increasingly
sophisticated cell
phones are supplanting
late-night computer
messaging and making it
even more difficult for
parents to know when
kids are really asleep
(http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html).
Anastasia Goodstein,
author of “Totally
Wired: What Teens and
Tweens are Really Doing
Online,” opened up to
Seattle Times and
reported that "All
this technology just
enables teens to be
connected 24/7…And
it's literally
24/7." (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html)
Seattle Times writer
Stephanie Dunnewind
found that “nearly a
quarter of teens in a
relationship have
communicated with a
boyfriend or girlfriend
hourly between midnight
and 5 a.m. via cellphone
or texting,
according to a recent
online survey by Teenage
Research Unlimited. One
in six communicated 10
or more times an hour
through the night”
(http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html).
"Most kids go to
sleep with their phone
plugged in right by
their heads," said
Breuner, a pediatrician
at Children's Hospital
and Medical Center and
mom to a teenage son.
“Every ping of an
incoming message is a
temptation to pick up
the phone. They know
talking on the phone
might wake up their
parents, but if they
text, it probably
won't" (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html)
Messaging mania...Too
much texting?
Dunnwind’s article in
the Seattle Times
included several pieces
of advice for parents of
children who text as
pointed out by Dr.
Preetam Bandla:
Turn it off. Dr.
Preetam Bandla, who
works with teens at the
Swedish Sleep Medicine
Institute, suggests
turning the phone off
half an hour before
bedtime.
Keep phones out of
bedrooms. Some
parents confiscate
phones or require them
to be set in a charger
outside a teen's room by
a certain time each
night.
Go through the bill.
Most companies record
text messages separately
from phone calls.
Text-message records
should include the
sender/recipient phone
number and time.
Block text-messaging.
It’s as simple as
that. If you have set
texting rules and
guidelines for your teen
to follow and they
choose to break them,
take away the privilege
of texting by calling
your service provider
and having that service
blocked.
Texting upon first
thought and glance may
not seem that dangerous.
However, the dangers
fall in the ability for
teens to hide much more
from their parents than
we ever use to be able
to do. At least when a
teen is talking on the
phone you know they are
talking, you can pick up
on bits of the
conversation to be able
to figure out who they
are talking to and what
they are talking about.
However, with texting,
you may never know if
your child is texting
someone or not, or why
they are texting a
person.
One example of how this
can be dangerous for
parents to remain in
control of their teen is
a story that occurred in
one Edmonds’ home as
Dunnewind reports: three
teenage boys "armed
with cellphones and good
looks" used
text-messaging to set up
an early morning
rendezvous, sneaking out
of the house to meet
girls. "I solved
the issue by telling our
sons that after
midnight, the older
boys' curfew, the phone
should be off and that I
would be checking the
phone bill to see if
there was any late-night
activity," said one
mom, who asked to remain
anonymous. "If
there was a violation,
the phone would be taken
away. So far, two years
later, the rule has been
respected" (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html).
"We encourage
parents to be aware
when, where and how
teens use their
cellphones," said
Jayne Wallace,
spokeswoman for Virgin
Mobile USA. "Texting
can be
surreptitious."
As more phones add
instant-messaging
service, phone IMing is
also growing in
popularity, Wallace
said. Instant messages
are typed like text
messages on a phone but
are sent to a buddy list
and pop up immediately
on the recipient's phone
screen, just like on the
computer. "All the
ways of communicating
are kind of mooshing
together," Wallace
said. (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html)
The texting trend is
only growing. Dunnewing
reports that “From
October through
December, Verizon
Wireless hosted 17.7
billion text messages,
more than double the
messages from the same
period in 2005,
according to
spokesperson Georgia
Taylor” (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html).
As one person put it,
"Their phones
are part of their bodies.
They've gotten so good
at text-messaging, they
can do it with one hand
with their eyes
closed" (http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html).
We can all relate a
little to our kids and
their need to talk to
their friends as much as
humanly possible. Most
of us ourselves can
remember at one time or
another talking till all
hours on the telephone
with our closest
girlfriend. However, as
Dunnewind shares, "Totally
Wired author
Goodstein says that
‘With technology now,
teens just have many
more tools to keep the
conversation going. And
more are under the
parental radar’”
(http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html).
And here is where the
problems reside.
Information for this
Article gathered from:
The Seattle Times Online
Stephanie Dunnewind
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2003644903_textsleep31.html
Check
out what's up with teens
and iPods as well . . .
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Parents!
Get in the Know About Myspace! |
Kids
are posting too much personal
information on websites!
You may never have heard of
MySpace.com, but it's a safe
bet, your kids have.
MySpace, Facebook, Bolt, and
other similar social networking
sites are a sort of cyber
combination of a yearbook,
personal diary and social club.
The biggest and most
recognizable of them is
MySpace.com. With more than 50
million members, as reported by
NBC News, its one of the fastest
growing Web sites in the country
(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/).
In a recent interview with NBC
News, teenager Shannon Sullivan
told reporters that “everyone
has a MySpace and everyone wants
a My Space” http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/.
Rob Stafford from NBC reports
that these sites are free, easy
to join, and easy to not only
message its members but to post
personal information and
pictures for the world to view.
Kids, like Shannon whom forget
that not just their friends view
what is posted on their pages,
chat about everything from
school, to sports, to parties,
to fundraisers for Katrina
victims. It all seems like
innocent fun, and it can be. But
many parents and teens such as
Shannon Sullivan, who innocently
exposed her full name, address,
and where she went to school on
her site, do not comprehend the
dangers (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/).
However, kids don’t just
reveal facts about themselves,
they also hide many truths such
as age. Shannon admits to
stating that she was 18 on her
page even though she was only
actually 13.
After seeing MySpace pop up on
one of the reports Margaret
Sullivan (Shannon’s mother)
receives from parental control
programs on her home computer,
Margaret decided to check out
the site. After exploring what
she found, she had this to say
to NBC news, “I was just very
upset. Somebody looking
for a kid could find a kid very
easily.” Margaret is
referring to the fact that so
many young adults list all their
personal contact information on
their pages. Not only that, but
Margaret was appalled to find
young kids with posted pictures
of themselves in revealing
positions and scantily dressed
(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/).
As NBC’s Rob Stafford words
it, MySpace is “A cyber
secret teenagers keep from
tech-challenged parents who are
not computer savvy.
It’s a world where the kids
next door can play any role they
want” (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/).
However, as recent news stories
suggest, kids forget that
everyone with Internet access,
including sexual predators, may
see the pictures and personal
information they post (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/).
Stafford makes a very scary
analogy when he states that
viewing MySpace pages is like
“one stop shopping for
sexual predators”
(http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/.
Basically what he is pointing
out is that these predators can
look for exactly the type of
victim that they prefer and then
the potential victims provide
the predator with the
information they need to start
conversations with and get close
to their victims such as
favorite hobbies, bands and
sports.
Internet lawyer Parry Aftab
started the Web site
wiredsafety.org, and her safety
tips appear on MySpace.com says
that “teens just don’t get
it. To them, they’re talking
to a computer monitor. They’re
playing in an area where they
don’t recognize the
consequences” (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/).
In the last month alone, NBC
reports that authorities charged
at least three men with sexually
assaulting teenagers they found
through MySpace.com (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/).
-- Information for this
article gathered from:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064451/
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Helpful
Internet Tips for You and Your
Kids...
 •
Think before they click:
With whom are they chatting or
e-mailing, what are they saying
and how are they saying it? Will
the person on the other end know
they are joking?
• Walk away from the
computer and “Take 5”
before responding to something
that upsets them online
• Avoid spreading rumors,
assisting in cyberbullying or
sharing private communications
online.
• Follow the golden rule of
cyberspace: Don’t do
anything online that you
wouldn’t do in real life!
• Use filtering or parental
control technologies. Block
everything that isn’t
pre-approved, rather than just
filtering out the “bad”
sites.
• Think about whether your
children really need e-mail or
IM, and if you determine
they do: block all
communications from anyone other
than pre-approved senders and
make sure their buddy list is no
longer than the age of the child
and that you know (in real life)
everyone on it.
• Bookmark their favorite
Web sites so they won’t
mistype them and end up at a
“bad” site.
• Use kid-sized search
engines such as Yahooligans
and Ask Jeeves for Kids.
• Limit their online time
to no more than a 1/2 hour to 2
hours a day, unless they have a
special project for school. Also
think about limiting cell phone
and text message privileges.
• Tell them to get your
permission before posting
any content, including profiles
and blogs, to a Web site or
sending it via e-mail or IM.
• Look for safe site lists
you can trust. Check out
WiredKids.org’s approved safe
sites list.
• Make sure that they
understand what information
can and can’t be shared online
with anyone.
• Practice chatting online
with them so they know how
to handle strangers they
encounter online.
• Consider using a monitoring
software to be able to
review what they are saying and
doing.
• Teach them not to divulge
personal information and
double-check their IM “away
messages” to make sure
they’re not posting their cell
phone numbers there.
• Without going into details, warn
them against predators –
tell them you are concerned
about people showing up at the
house.
• Give them privacy as long
as it is with people you trust.
• Block all but
pre-approved senders.
• Make sure that you
control the family account
password and have their
passwords too. Lock your private
files with a password they
don’t know. Change all
passwords often.
• Keep them out of social
network or online dating sites
such as xanga.com,
friendster.com or match.com.
• Keep the computer in a
central location and watch
new interactive devices such as
cell phones, text messaging
devices and interactive gaming
devices, like Xbox Live. Use
parental controls if they come
with them – Xbox does, for
example.
• All bets are off. If
they have earned your trust,
give it to them. If not, unplug
the computer and take away their
cell phones and interactive
gaming devices.
online.
Information gathered from:
msnbc.com
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11030746/
WiredSafety.org
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BOOK
A LEGACY OF HOPE PROGRAM FOR
YOUR EVENT, COMMUNITY OR SCHOOL
If you would like to know
more about how LEGACY OF HOPE
impacts positive change in teens
and adults, please contact us
with the link below.
Also, please forward this
newsletter to friends,
colleagues, parents, and others
who might find this information
useful. Help us carry our
message of hope and healing.
CONTACT SUSIE NOW! |
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Wishing
you well,
All of us at LEGACY
Susie Vanderlip, CSP, CPAE - Ken
Vanderlip, PhD
Newsletter Dept - Lauren LeDuc
800-707-1977 |
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