Teaching Teens Tolerance - 8-2006 LEGACY OF HOPE Newsletter

Welcome to August, 2006 "News of Hope"

ANOTHER NEW SCHOOL YEAR! THE POSSIBILITIES BEGIN ANEW!
I remember all through grade school how exciting it was to look forward to a new school year. I remember the very special excitement of starting a new year in middle school and high school. The thrill of being an upper classman - no more freshman ackwardness. The thrill of having so many friends to reconnect with, plan events with, socialize with. The wonderment of who would I "like" this year and who would like me! The mental enthusiasm of new classes, information and stimulation. Student body activiites and ASB participation, football games and cheerleading, crushes and flirtations!

Obviously, I had good high middle and high school years. I loved school and am grateful to say, it loved me. But those were simpler times. Peer pressure was less intense, multi-cultural issues did not yet exist, gangs only existed at that "other" high school, competition for college entrance was minimal compared to today, and hooking up/drugs/alcohol were non-issues for "good girls" of my day.

What a changed world our teens live in now. . .
Mutual respect, courtesy, care not to hurt others feelings, tolerance - what do these words mean to youth today? Do they HAVE meaning? Can today's teens comprehend the ancient adage "Do unto others as you would have them do unto You", or are we too far entrenched in "Do to others before they do to you"?

This issue explores TOLERANCE.
We NEED to explore TOLERANCE. The level of iintolerance in the world at this time is most certainly setting a horrific example for our children - teaching them to distrust, to judge, to criticize, to attack. Time to teach tolerance. Time to live tolerance.
Time to focus the new school year, teaching the empathy, compassion, understanding it takes to be tolerant.

NEWS OF HOPE NEWSLETTER CONTENTS
. Modesto Middle School District Found Religion
. San Clemente High School Tolerance Class
. Echoes and Reflections - A Multimedia Curriculum on the Holocaust
. Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice
. 10 Ways to Nurture Tolerance
. Where Susie Will Be

Pictures Above: (LtoR)
Pic 1- Cloudy skies of North Dakota in August where Susie keynoted the TNT (Teaching and Technology) Conference, Bismarck, ND
Pic 2 - TNT Conference Coordinators from Bismarck State College -
June Perrizzo and Manager, Karen Selensky
Pci 3 - ND teachers in People Search process during 'THRIVE, DON'T JUST SURVIVE' Workshop
Pic 4 - Proudly announcing Susie's article in the
Journal of the American Orthodontic Society, Summer 2006 Issue!
Check it out at our website - link below

Check out Susie's article in Journal of the American Orthodontic Society

Modesto Middle School District Found Religion

Americans have never been in greater need of understanding religious differences and cultivating respect for religious freedom. The events of 9/11 transformed America's relationship with Muslims at home and abroad, a surge in immigration from Asia and Africa has increased the nation's religious diversity, and cultural conflicts between secularists and religious conservatives occur like clockwork. So you might think the last thing school districts would want is to bring religion into the classroom. Better to play it safe, and avoid lawsuits and angry parents by limiting any mention of faith to the private sphere. But school officials in Modesto, in Northern California, decided not to play it safe. In 2000, the religiously diverse community took a risk and, in an almost unheard of undertaking for a public school district, offered a required course on world religions and religious liberty for ninth graders.

Students' respect for rights and liberties increased measurably after taking the course. Perhaps more important, the community has embraced the course as a vehicle for fostering understanding, not indoctrination.

In 1997, dome religious groups in Modesto battled the school over a policy of tolerance for gay and lesbian students. Out of the dispute came a meeting of the minds: A 115-member committee of community members and educators was formed to examine how to provide safe schools for all students. That meant putting an end to bullying, whether based on sexual orientation, race or ethnicity- even religion. The world religions course was one of several initiatives designed to further the "safe schools" mission.

The experiment succeeded . USA today surveys indicate it increased students' respect for religions liberty as well as for basic First Amendment rights. One Russian Orthodox boy, for instance, found that the course brought him closer to his neighbors. "We have a Hindu family living across the street who pray(s) to a statue," he said. "I thought it was just plain dumb. But I notice now they had a pretty good reason."

Bringing religious beliefs out into the open increased students; respect for religious liberty for two reasons. First, students not only emerged from the course far more knowledgeable about world religions, they also were able to apply the knowledge practically. One student remarked that the course gave him a greater appreciation for the religious diversity in his school. "I walk up to one of my friends I've known for years. I had no idea he was a Sikh. When I see the bracelet (worn for religious reasons), I say, 'Oh, you're a Sikh."

Second, students learned that major faiths shared common moral values. When we asked one student why she enjoyed studying other religions, she said: "All my life I've been a Christian, and that's really the only religion I know about. So when I take this class I see there are other religions out there, and they kind of believe in the same thing I do."

Even so, students did not become relativists or converts. They were no more likely to disbelieve the truth of their own religious traditions after taking the course.

Recent disputes over the teaching of evolution in Kansas and Dover, PA and over a Bible studies course in Odessa, Texas, have made national headlines. These stories leave the impression that all attempts to teach about religion in public schools are bound to cause controversy. How did Modesto avoid this fate, and what lessons does Modesto provide for other communities?

- Extensive training gave teachers the knowledge and enthusiasm to handle a sensitive subject.

- An interfaith religious council reviewed the course before its implementation and paved the way for its acceptance. The council members applauded particularly the district's decision to have the course focus on objectively describing religions rather than evaluating their merits.

-The focus on description prevented the perception that the course was biased or an attempt to indoctrinate students into a particular faith.

- Most crucial was the school district's decision to introduce the course as part of an effort to counteract the hostility against students who were seen as different. First Baptist Church Associate Pastor Paul Zook explained that despite the council members' disagreements, "We could find common ground (because) we all want kids to be safe."

Limiting deeply held beliefs to the private sphere breeds suspicion and tension. True religious liberty prevails not only when people feel comfortable expressing their beliefs, but also when they learns to discuss religious differences with civility and respect.

- from USA Today

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San Clemente High School Tolerance Class

Begun in the Spring of 1994 by English teacher Joe Moros after two violent incidents involving San Clemente High School students, the tolerance class gets students to examine the roots of prejudice, bigotry, discrimination and hate violence. It features guest speakers on topics from racism, to domestic violence, to homophobia, to the Holocaust, as well as readings, class projects and videos on the subject. Moved to action following a near-fatal gay-bashing by a San Clemente High student and the death of another high school senior during a fight between Latino and white students, Moros started the class "to stop the hatred and the violence." A former Marine who served in Vietnam, Moros was raised by what he describes as a hateful, abusive father. He wants to do what he can to help young people surrounded by similar hatred. Moros did extensive research and collected broad information in constructing his curriculum, which he is eager to share with other educators.

Each semester 35 - 40 of San Clemente High's 2,000 students sign up for the class. The class includes a diverse group of students, including several campus leaders. Although the class draws only a tiny fraction of the student body, both students and graduates report a significant moderation of the social climate on campus in the five years that the class has been running.

Steve Raines, is a 22-year-old graduate of San Clemente High School and was one of the first students to sign up for the tolerance class. An avowed white supremacist whose brother, Jeff, was sent to state prison for a gay-bashing incident, Raines says that his goal in taking the class "was to tell people I was prejudiced and why, and not because I thought I needed help." Raines left the tolerance class espousing the same bigoted views, but below the surface, the values of tolerance taught in the class had taken hold of Raines. Within a year of his graduation, he returned to the school, with an Indian girlfriend on his arm to show Moros that he had shed his prejudiced views. Today, Raines is an outspoken advocate of tolerance, who dates women of color and wants to become a teacher to pass on what he has learned. Moros describes Steve Raines as "my success story."

For more information about the Promoting Tolerance Through Understanding class, go to www.teachingtolerance.org. The site includes a sample syllabus and sample lesson plans.
___________________________________________________________________________

NEW BOOK IS CELEBRATED AWARD WINNER!

In May, 2006, Susie's new book "52 Ways to Protect Your Teen"
was celebrated as an
Excellent Products for 2006
iParenting Media Awards Winner!

WHAT PARENTS ARE SAYING ABOUT "52 Ways" --
"This is the first parenting book that gave me practical tools to improve my relationship with my teen. And they really work! I just wish I had had this book earlier, even before she was a preteen. It would have made the teen years so much easier!"
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SUMMER is a special time to reconnect with your children -- Also a trying time - keeping an eye on where they are going, who they are with, what they are doing to alleviate boredom. "52 Ways" will give you quick tips to make your connections stronger and relieve some anxious moments!

ORDER YOUR PRODUCTS NOW!

Echoes and Reflections - A Multimedia Curriculum on the Holocaust

Echoes and Reflections-- a multimedia curriculum on the Holocaust -- is the result of an unprecedented partnership, combining the national outreach network of the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), the unmatched visual history resources of the Shoah Foundation, and the historical expertise of Yad Vashem. The pedagogical experience of the three organizations produced the most comprehensive curriculum on the Holocaust available to date.

The curriculum is designed for high school classes, but can easily be adapted to accommodate other grade levels. The lessons support study in the areas of United States and World History, English, Holocaust Studies, Fine Arts, and Character Education units. All material in Echoes and Reflections meets or reinforces Social Studies and English/Language Arts and Media Literacy and Viewing national standards.

Every day on high school campuses throughout the U.S. students confront issues of prejudice and bigotry. Echoes and Reflections inspires students to confront the racism and discrimination they face in their own lives. Through the study of the Holocaust, the curriculum helps students connect history with contemporary issues and develop skills to become active members of an informed citizenry, free of racial hatred.

According to Douglas Greenberg, Shoah Foundation President and CEO, "Echoes and Reflections, with its integration of visual history testimony from the Shoah Foundation archive, provides teachers with a unique and valuable tool: the real life stories of Holocaust survivors and witnesses. These first-person narratives of Holocaust survivors and other witnesses have an important educational value, not only because they support the study of the Holocaust, but also because they often broach questions of fairness, justice, labeling, or scapegoating-issues that adolescents confront in their daily lives. Visual history provides the immediacy and personalization that can make history, and the lessons that students can learn from that history, truly come alive."

Avner Shalev, Yad Vashem Chairman, explained, "It is hoped that every pupil who will study Echoes and Reflections will remember this chapter of history and connect with the authentic voices of the witnesses featured in it. By learning about this unprecedented event in western civilization, we hope that students and teachers will infuse it with meaning by upholding human rights, freedom, and the sanctity of life."

For more information, or to order a copy of Echoes and Reflections, go to www.echoesandreflections.org

Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice

"I am a brown-skinned girl, a mixture of Spanish, Japanese, and Filipino, who was born in San Francisco. When I started kindergarten, my family lived right in the city and my classmates were of all different colors and cultures. We all got along.

"In first grade, I moved to the suburbs, and suddenly everyone but me was white. The kids in my class teased me and kept asking me what I was. Finally, I asked my mom, `What am I?'

"My mom said, `You are a cosmopolitan a person of the world.'

"I went back to school and told my classmates, `I am a cosmopolitan. That means I am a person of the world.' "My classmates were impressed that I knew such a big word. They stopped teasing me and started treating me with respect. Maybe they wanted to be cosmopolitans, too."

If only it were always that simple. If only we could easily eliminate the pain our children our children experience when what makes them different also makes them the victim of teasing or even more serious acts of hate. Although the above story is true, it does not reflect the experiences most of us have had when we've tried to help our children understand that being different does not make them better or worse that others -- just different. Most parents have faced this task without preparation. Although we want to help our children feel good about who an what they are and to value diversity, we often have little in the way of explanations or recommendations that will ease their pain.

Every day, in our cities and suburbs, small towns and countryside, in our classrooms and playgrounds and on our streets, our children are experiencing incidents and feelings such as those given below -the words and acts of prejudice and their effects, from the most subtle to the most violent.

Kids who have been the victims of prejudice not only suffer deeply themselves, they may also start causing others to suffer in return. Some report on how their own feelings and behavior toward "different" people changed after they'd been hurt:

-"All this prejudice is starting to affect the way I feel about other people. I'm starting to be prejudiced myself."

-"He told me, `My mother said I can't trust black people. I'm supposed to hate black people.' "After a while I hated anyone who wasn't my color, and I was a bully all of a sudden."

-"Sometimes when the kids single out a person and they start making fun of him, at first I object and I don't take part in it. But then, after a while, I start: thinking like them and I laugh, too. Prejudice is sort of contagious."

Prejudice is contagious. When people are afraid or have actually been hurt, it may be a natural response to want to hurt back. But hurting one another only escalates the hatred and violence - and the differences don't go away. Prejudice is only one way of dealing with differences. Instead, we can learn to respect differences, to see them as a source of strength in our lives and society, even celebrate them. In place of prejudice, we can teach acceptance and understanding. Meeting this challenge requires both preparation and practice.

Responding to Situations You Find Offensive: A Five-Step Process

1. Begin by clarifying for yourself what you want to get out of the situation.

2. Try to assume goodwill. Many people who make offensive remarks do so out of ignorance. Because they do not intend harm, they assume no harm is done.

3. Sometimes it helps to talk to the person privately.

4. Start the conversation by letting the person who offended you know that he or she is important to you and that is why you want to have this conversation: "I wanted to talk with you, Mary, because your friendship is important to me . . ."

5. Be honest about your feelings and state them directly. Using the word "I" to start the conservation lets the other person know how you feel without feeling attacked; fore example, "I was hurt when I heard what you said about . . ." You have every right to let someone know how you feel; you do not have the right to dictate what others can or cannot say.

-From the Anti-Defamation League

More insights into teaching children empathy in 52 Ways to Protect Your Teen

	10 Ways to Nurture Tolerance 1. Talk About Tolerance Tolerance is an ongoing process; it cannot be captured in a single moment. Establish a high "comfort level" for open dialogue about social issues. Let children know that no subject is taboo. 2. Identify Intolerance When Children are Exposed to It Point out stereotypes and cultural misinformation depicted in movies, TV shows, computer games and other media. Challenge bias when it comes from friends and family members. Do not let the moment pass. Begin with a qualified statement: "Andrew just called people of XYZ faith 'lunatics.' What do you think about that, Zoe?" Let children do most of the talking. 3. Challenge Intolerance When it Comes from Your ChildrenWhen a child says or does something that reflects biases or embraces stereotypes, point it out: "What makes that joke funny, Jerome?" Guide the conversation toward internalization of empathy and respect-"Mimi uses a walker, honey. How do you think she would feel about that joke?" or "How did you feel when Robbie made fun of your glasses last week?" 4. Support Your Children When They are Victims of Intolerance Respect children's troubles by acknowledging when they become targets of bias. Don't minimize the experience. Provide emotional support and then brainstorm constructive responses. Develop a set of "comebacks" for children who are victims of name-calling. 5. Foster a Healthy Understanding of Group Identities For tweens and teens, group identity is critical. Remind them, however, of three things. First, pride in our own groups does not mandate disrespect for others. Second, no group is entitled to special privileges. Third, we should avoid putting other groups down as a way to elevate the status of our own groups. 6. Showcase Diversity Materials in Your Home Read books with multicultural and tolerance themes to your children. Assess the cultural diversity reflected in your home's artwork, music and literature. Add something new. Give multicultural dolls, toys or games as gifts. Bookmark equity and diversity Web sites on your home computer. 7. Create Opportunities for Children to Interact with People who are Different from them Look critically at how a child defines "normal." Expand the definition. Visit playgrounds where a variety of children are present-people of different races/ethnicities, socioeconomic backgrounds, family structures, etc. Encourage a child to spend time with elders-grandparents, for example. Attend religious services at a variety of houses of worship. Encourage Children to call upon Community Resources The earlier children interact with the community, the better; we are not islands unto ourselves. If a child is interested in stars, visit the local library, museum or planetarium. A child who is concerned about world hunger can volunteer at a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter. 9. Be Honest About Differences Do not tell children that we are all the same; we're not. We experience the world in different ways, and those experiences matter. Help your child understand the viewpoints of others. 10. Model the Behavior You Would Like to See As parents and as children's primary role models, we must be consistent in how we treat others and in our commitment to tolerance. If we as parents treat people differently based on characteristics such as race or gender, our children are likely to do the same. -From Tolerance.org

	LEGACY OF HOPE SCHOOL ASSEMBLIES AND CONFERENCE KEYNOTE Dramatic, thought-provoking and life-enhancing - Theatrical one-woman presentation addressing emotional intelligence and how to make good choices. Addresses real-world teen concerns including alcohol and drug abuse, excess stress, teen pregnancy, gangs, AIDS, depression, bullying, self-harm, suicide and violence.
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"You should respect each other and refrain from disputes; you should not, like water and oil, repel each other, but should, like milk and water, mingle together."
-Buddha

Wishing you well,
All of us at LEGACY
Susie Vanderlip - Ken Vanderlip - Veronica Garcia
800-707-1977

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